Boarding Day

Our bus arrived at our Hotel with only 5 minutes to go before boarding. We were very excited and nervous. We boarded hastily.

It sped the 20 metres to the pier. As we approached a beautiful white ship with deck chairs, pools and spas it pulled up right at the bow leaving us a lengthy walk to the heated, covered gang way leading to the promenade deck lavished with palm trees.

However, we were directed to the little tug boat in front. We were helped off the pier down a wooden plank, onto a short ladder and then onto the deck. Our ship is a small iceberg.

Oh! There goes Tricia, seasick already.

Other than the bus trip, that is exactly how I expected our morning to be. However, the ship actually looks like this.

When there are no luxury liners in town it looks very normal compared to the others.

One last snap in Ushuaia

End of the World

We did a bus trip into the Tierra Del Fuego NP. OK but a 4WD trip would have been much better value. Included in our trip was the “Train to the end of the world”. Utter crap. Crowded, boring commentary repeated in 4 languages, couldn’t take a decent photo through the double glazed reflective windows. The highlight was a pathetic waterfall with 600 touristas photographing themselves. Get me outa here.

Today we did a heli ride and landed on a ridge in the Andes. Sensational.

Back to our coffee shop with a view of the harbour then grabbed a taxi to the chairlift up the nearest Glacier.

We death marched from there for 1 hour up to the point where the sign proudly claimed “you are viewing the Martial Glacier”. All we could see was a dingy pool of water. There was a bit of snow 1,000 metres higher up. It’s probably that. Where were the beavers promised by the brochure? I thought they would have to be pretty crafty beasts to build dams so far above the tree line.

Back to the Hotel for a pre-dinner nap.

Seasick?

The wild areas around here are spectacular. We did a Beagle channel cruise

on the tiniest boat available (10 passengers). It has its own pier on an island. It has lots of Tundra type flora. Large, solid (sit on them) moss balls.

The last native of the island is a woman aged 85. She has just been admitted to hospital and expected to die soon. Our guide was upset. The natives were perfectly adapted to their environment, but once the western plunderers arrived it took only 30 years for their lifestyle to become unsustainable due to:
· loss of seals, the fat from which they used to keep their otherwise naked bodies warm
· the introduction of alcohol and tobacco which was too much of a shock to their highly adapted bodies

We saw lots of seals and cormorants etc.

But the headline news was that for the first time ever on a boat Tricia did not feed the wildlife with everything she had eaten that day.

To Ushuaia

The taxi driver to the airport this time was merely insane.

The flight bounced down the full length of the Andes, headed out to sea to avoid the worst of it, and landed in a stunningly scenic place called Ushuaia.

It’s a place where “the wild west” and Rodeo Drive meet in an anarchically relaxed way.

Cars, kids and huskies all share the streets with equal rights and no hassles.

Most of the place is really run down but its all mixed up with a smattering of new. There is one main street where all the touristas hang out.

The café nearest us has a superb view over the harbour. We have had several coffees sitting there watching the harbour and our ship is there. Tantalisingly close now.

Dawn of the Dead

Tricia slept from 2PM to 3:30 AM. I partied, with a gorgeous Asus.

We then both slept till 8.

Breaky was accompanied with coffee perfecto number two and three.

We then explored the area, taking lots of photos of unusual and strange things. They like colour. There are many run down buildings and lots of renovation. It’s humid. There is plenty of water. They seem unconcerned about hosing footpaths. There is a sense that the rainforest could quickly overgrow the city should they go post apocalyptic.

Crash

No, we landed safely. The plane had to wait on the tarmac for 30 minutes. At the baggage claim , we fortuitously bumped into the two professional photographers (David Burren and Martin Bailey). Check out their websites! When swapping mobile numbers I noticed my phone was not connecting to a service. Also, our driver to the Hotel was a no show.

Grabbed a Taxi instead. OMG. This guy lives inside Carmageddon, Driv3R, and Mad Taxi. Tricia kept closing her eyes, wincing and crushing my right arm.

But no. That wasn’t the crash either.

Tricia was high on adrenaline but lack of sleep over the last 3 days won over. She immediately crashed in the room while I’m exploring and stuff.

All the streets are one way and there are two speeds, stop and rampage.

I was told of a mobile phone shop a couple of streets away. Waited for the stop phases and got to the railway line OK. Why were there 100 or so people inspecting the track? I’ll never know.

The phone shop determined my phone is fine. The SIM accepts the PIN but fails to connect to any service. I’ve roamed before, maybe the direct debit I setup for convenience was a bad idea? Will call Telstra later.

Grabbed a can of V on my way back. There was some crack about “tourista” I didn’t quite get so I suspect I got ripped off. I don’t know what is in this version of V but it taseted wiered and gave me headac,

Tricia is still in crash mode, so I’m blogging from the lobby. The staff are all very ‘fit’ and keep smiling at me, saying “ola”, and offering me things. The coffee is perfecto. Note to self, learn more Spanish.

The American couple just got their cab so now I can tell you how ugly tired old male travellers can get. The bloke drank one of these great coffees whilst watching his wife repack everything. When she was done he asked where did you pack those CDs? And maybe she should repack them some place else so they don’t get smashed. Apparently he’s travelling with an imbicillic slave.

Note to self.

A 12,000 Km Smiley

We had window seats at the back. A great spot because we got a little extra room between us and the window to have stuff handy. Don’t go for the very last row as its hard up against the window and closest to the loos.

The flight path from Sydney to Buenos Aries was a perfect silly grin from ear to ear, 12,000 Km long. That was the traditional perspective of things. When viewed from the perspective of the South Pole, it’s almost a perfect straight line!

Alledgedly, I slept for a few hours. I don’t remember.

Snapped this as we raced double speed to a sunset.

We passed close to Antarctica but solid cloud cover blocked any view. We also passed near Ushuaia where our ship departs. A parachute could have saved some time. But the cloud cover was again solid.

I think global warming has put the water cycle on steroids. More heat, more evaporation, more clouds, makes sense to me.

The flight was non-stop and only 12 hours. Another reason for a big smiley.

We The People

Got to Tullamarine airport without any dramas. The queues inside were staggering but we had allowed an extra half hour.

We were flying domestic to Sydney with a straight through International connection. The first massive queue was avoided because there is a special, and empty, queue for this!

No avoiding the very long and winding road that was the scanner queue.

After a quick coffee were off on-time. Phew. I was worried the leeway for the international departure was too short.

Off the flight in Sydney at gate 3 and the bus to speed us over the tarmac was waiting at Gate 2. Wow.

The guy next to me on the bus was examining his passport for some reason. I couldn’t help notice the bald eagle and the words “We the People”.

That triggered all manner of thoughts and even a possible theme on which this blog may eventually close off.

T minus 1 - Houston

Actually no problems. Everything seems to pack within airline limits, even the more restrictive Aerolineas Argentinas 15 Kg limit.

It does mean I have to wear a few things around my neck, waist, and dangling from my fishing vest, but I’ll hide it all under a floppy hooded parka and in my backpack. We will arrive early just to be on the safe side. I wouldn’t want to be running for the plane and have airport security gun me down. Not that any bullets would actually hit me. This amount of camera gear doubles as an excellent bulletproof vest.

Tricia found the cancellation penalties too severe so I can get away with pretty much any fashion statement now.

However, she suggested the Blog title would be more accurate as “Care worker takes retard to Antarctica”.

T minus 4. Equipment Check

The first problem.

How to transport a very bulky DSLR with a mega zoom, 5 extra lenses, a tripod, binoculars and lots of other crucial stuff in a zodiac containing water and ice slushing around on the floor, even more splashing over the sides, while its snowing and your hands must be free. Oh, and it can't really be a backpack because you might lose balance and topple over the side backwards and with that weight you're gonna die.

Solution.

A huge dry sack. It can sit in all that slushing water and ice and keep the 20 kilos of gear, er ... well, ... dry.

Dry Sack, check. Large camera shoulder bag, check. Camera bag fits inside dry sack, er, try again, er.

Waterproof camera, check. Waterproof gloves, check. You know where this is going and it didn't end well. At least it was only the gloves that leaked. Now I have to hope they'll dry out before the flight.

Plan B for the dry sack, it fits Tricia's camera backpack perfectly. Plan B for my camera bag. Use an obscenely large waist bag in combo with a fishing vest instead. Oh yes!

Camera complains a bit but squeezes into the waist bag, lenses in five of the vest pockets, stressing the velcro a bit, but she'll be right. Nick knacks in the rest of the pockets. No probs.

My waterproof nylon pants are baggy enough to extend over the waist bag. That'll keep the camera dry.

My waterproof nylon jacket snuggles a little reluctantly over everything. As long as I don't do any sudden movements the zips should hold OK. Mirror shows I have really "muscled up", cool.

Tricia checked me out and then checked out the cancellation penalties.