Onwards and upwards

We will now be sailing close to the Argentinian coast stopping here and there to visit wildlife. The sky is blue, last nights sunset was superb. Dolphins are playing with our bow and cormorants and Megellanic penguins are fishing everywhere. My back still hurts a bit but my cold is easing slightly. It’s actually warm/hot. Where have we hidden those clothes that aren’t thermals?

The sky is blue, the swell is so slight its hard to tell we are moving. The chef regained his sanity with the more usual superb food, a chicken something or other and cheesecake. No motion sickness and we played cards till 2 AM.

Next day is another full day sailing in calm blue waters and even warmer. Pina coladas on the deck watching dolphins ride our bow. This is more like it.

Puerto Deseado

I thought the name appropriate, “port of desolation”. A pier leading directly to a gravel area 200Km by 400Km. There was a small town. I think we were in the dodgy end, but it is extremely hard to tell.

We were cordoned off on the pier and had 6 security/tourist personnel guarding us for our entire stay. If not for this the ships hub caps may have been stolen.

Tourist vessels have never been known to come here. It was such a big deal that the Mayor had an official greeting ceremony and it was filmed by local TV. We later found out that this is an election year.

Were did not have to venture from the pier. Two buses from the local tourist company whisked us directly out of town. The road quickly became indistinguishable from the gravel countryside. My nose was running, it was very dusty inside the bus until they turned on the aircon. This blasted a full on tsunami of grey dust on everyone. Some of this dust is apparently explained by the Chilean volcano that erupted 20 years ago. Our guide told us that she was 6 at the time and it deposited ash knee deep all over this area. All wildlife died. Apparently the aircon hadn’t been turned on since then.

We turned off the gravel highway onto a gravel road towards a canyon. The canyon was 150 metres deep and was worth a couple of quick snaps, but no, we faced a 3 hour excursion here. The valley floor was odd. A few more snaps.

Back on the bus we assumed we would be sped directly back to the ship. No way. There were even more things to see. A rusty ranch. We stopped and were directed to a corral. I was wondering how much ransom they were going to seek. They brought out something resembling sandwiches. Others had taken bites and not dropped dead on the spot so I tried it. Seems OK. The coke was OK too.

After an hour or two we were eventually released. We no longer cared that the bus driver wouldn’t stop for us to photograph armadillos. Get us to the ship fast. But no, there was more to see. This time the grooto de Lourdes. A tiny canyon that the poorly translated guide told us was built in 1947. It was rock that was clearly millions of years old so we guessed they started to use it as memorial to the dead in 1947. Twice per year the entire town of Puerto Deseado walks most of the way to this site and then crawls on knees the last 12Km. I don’t think we’ll find any budding soccer players here.

Get us to the ship now. But no, a quick tour of the highlights of the town. They have two sets of traffic lights and both were red when we got to them. We were not harmed. Perhaps they have seen so few tourists that crime hasn’t yet even occurred to them?

Safely back on ship. The announcement was that we would have another half day to sight see in town without armed guards. I decided to suffer with my cold and bad back in bed until I could feel the ship moving again.

We were also told that Deseado means Desire. My stomach muscles started involuntary spasms which caused teary eyes and the snorting up of a considerable amount of gue until the next sentence which said it was named after the ship that found it. The captain must have had a sense of humour.

Next day, most of the passengers did venture around town. As far as I know there were no deaths, stabbings, thefts, muggings, bashings, not even any beggars. It was apparently very safe and cheap very fast broadband was found. Damn it. But there really wasn’t anything to see.

Our Darkest Hour

We had four days of playing in the many Islands forming the Falklands.

First was George Island which was rainy and there were only a few rubbishy Penguins. Even the owners forgot to show up to greet us. That afternoon we zodiaced to Barren Island. After a 1 hour uphill hike we got to a sealion and elephant seal colony. There were also penguins but no one cared. The seals were action packed, fighting, swimming, snorting, and allowed us to get quite close. This was great.

Sailing overnight to New Island was very rough again and Tricia was seasick. She consequently decided not to go ashore. BIG mistake. A huge colony of Albatross and Rockhopper penguins was nestled in a steep sided cove and the sun was shining. We could get very close without disturbing the wild cavorting action. I begged our Zodiac driver to go get Tricia but it was too late. There was also a wreck of a mine sweeper right where our zodiacs came ashore.

It was only a short sail to Carcass Island so we had a quiet night. Tricia recovered and I got a great nights sleep.

Next day we were greeted by the people running a B&B, treated to cakes and tea, and were 4WDed up to the even bigger Albatross and Rockhopper penguin colony which we could get ridiculously close to without disturbing them. Same deal, a steep sided gorge leading out to the sea on a sunny day. Wowowowow. Tricia, appropriately found 4 sheep carcasses on a beach that the caracara’s were having trouble pecking through. Tricia found some rusty metal implements and performed a partial autopsy. This sent the Caracara’s into a wild feeding frenzy that Tricia then filmed. I nearly threw up.

The next night was an all night roller coaster to our last zodiac location. Something hurt my back. Could have been the wooden side of the bed, the wardrobe, a flying chair, the ceiling, anything in the cabin really. I also got a cold and no sleep. Tricia was again seasick but was OK to go ashore. She decided to stay and be uber grumpy nursemaid instead. Can I have some water, “Oh God now I’ve lost my place in this book I’m reading for the second time”. It’s OK, I’ll try to get it myself. “You’ve done it again, hurrrumph”.

When the passengers returned from the Island they reported the biggest and best ever Albatross colony. I wish Tricia hadn’t missed out, I won’t inadequately encourage Tricia to go on an adventure ever again.

My back hurts, my nose is running, I am dazed and confused by my nurse and the chef has just gone insane. He has (not) cooked “cappaccio de barf”. We encountered this membrane of bloody meat tissue once before. Refer to our France blog. It was followed by “fish pie”. I begged for a cheese toastie but had to settle for a couple of dry biscuits.

And to top it all off, we faced a night and day of bouncing around our cabin crossing the southern ocean yet again. Our next holiday will not involve an ocean.

Stanley, Capital of the Falkland Islands

Mutiny and cannibalism was averted once we dropped anchor in the port of Stanley. Our first night where the rocking motion of the ship was only imaginary.

We arrived on the anniversary of the day Argentina invaded in 1982. The locals were nervous.

The occupying force was 16,000 Argentinian soldiers in a town of only 1,500 residents. The town water and sewage supplies could not cope, consequently, the soldiers used the bath tubs as toilets in many of the houses. Lots of residents were allowed to relocate to farms temporarily. A monument shows that 100 or so British soldiers lost their lives recapturing the islands. Perhaps 2,000 Argentinians died and the other 14,000 were captured.

Once every nook and cranny of our ship and our hand baggage had been checked for Argentinians, we were allowed ashore.

Stanley is a cross between an Alaskan town and an English village. Half the population speak like the Queen, the other half would rather just chew you up and spit you out (the soldiers).

We dealt mostly with the tourist-friendly half.

We found a supermarket and stocked up on chocolate. This is the one crucial food group overlooked when our ship was stocked.

I uploaded the blog last time on modem speed WIFI. I paid more for that 50 minutes than I pay in a week at home. It was a swearingly frustrating experience. Tip: Do not use the Jetty Visitor Centre WIFI. The supermarket has a comfortable coffee shop with cheaper and faster access and big flat screens to show that civilisation still exists.

We were then collected by half a dozen 4WDs that took us adventuring over flat farmland to Bluff Cove Lagoon where we saw our first King Penguins. They were slumming it with a large colony of Gentoos and other birds. It is a magic place. But it started to rain heavily.

We then walked around the point and into the café where a local played accordion hits of Scotland on an accordion. The locals had prepared 16 types of cakes and had enough to feed the friendly half of town or two of the other half. The menu was specially done, welcoming “Polar Pioneer, the last ship for this season”. We loved the whole experience.

On returning to town we had a few hours to kill and wasted one of them in the nearest pub. Our lead Photographer then showed us a slideshow of his November trip to Antarctica which included South Georgia Island. Note to self: do not look at a professional photographers photographs of any place I have seen in worse weather or stupidly elected not to see at all.

When the heavy rain started, we cut our losses and went back onboard early. Our ship rocks considerably less than the land seems to.

Download photo time.

Tricia loves to hate Lightroom. It is a complex photo organising package with none of the simplicity of her beloved Picassa. I am constantly abused as another random Tricia action results in some diabolical mess. I try to explain how the feature should be used whilst being berated for my “attitude”. It does not matter that the Professional Photographers leading this expedition require the use of Lightroom and that of her own free will, Tricia agreed with THEM that she would use it. It’s still all my fault because I am her personal IT whipping boy.

“Oh, what the hell have I just done”, OMG, something just went wrong in Lightroom and I didn’t get the blame. Are the laws of physics still intact?

Hijacked

We awoke to discover that four terrorists wearing white jump suits and black balaclavas had taken control of the ship. They had the captain tied up in the bridge and whenever he came to they bashed him on the head again. They told us we were heading due south. The seas were calm now. When a lion, giraffe, hippo and zebra appeared I suspected something wasn’t quite right. We had watched Madagascar last night (four penguins take over a ship).

The third night in a row of this (long list of foul expletives) Drakes Passage. We have almost crossed it twice now which is two times more than Drake himself. He had sense.

The ship is in constant heaving with on average, a 3.12147 second cycle. It is a complex adaptive system in that as you adapt it comes up with punishing adaptations of its own.

Some say the ship is really a “full body, full contact, Ju Jitsu Massage machine”. Some think the toilet is actually a Bidet. But all we know for sure is that all wish we were at home watching Top Gear re-runs.

Again this morning we were greeted with the optimistic and calm voice of Amanda (she is the love child of HAL and the Dalai Lama) welcoming us to awaken to another fun and interesting day. This only inspires rage but is quickly beaten out of you as the cabin rearranges your body parts.

Amanda had promised this nightmare would end in the Falkland Islands at 15:03.57 today. This morning she advised us that our weaving path now means it will be 8 PM but with no promises. She made the mistake of delivering this message in the middle of breakfast. She fled the dining room, pursued by 14 wild eyed and extremely unbalanced passengers who were armed to the teeth. She managed to lock herself into one of the automatic car washes. We now have a sentry roster.

Antarctica 2

More pics

Antarctica

OK. I suppose it’s gorgeous.

Birds, penguins, seals, seals eating penguins, blood, humpbacks, minkes, albatross, glaciers, ice-bergs, mountains, calm seas, wild seas, calving glaciers, penguins mountaineering on ice bergs, seals sleeping on ice bergs, seals eating penguins, blood on ice bergs.

We visited three research stations. The Great Wall of China Base (home of the Antarctic winter Olympics), Vernadsky (seriously peaceful Ukrainians), and Arctowski (Poland) which has a tank with the top half removed as part of its amphibious conversion.

We had a total of eight half-day zodiac excursions, most with landings and some just cruising. A couple of times we were returning in wild seas. The most impressive zodiac dismount was by our octogenarian whilst the zodiac was in a two metre swell. She stood up to cross the zodiac, tripped over a rope, became airborne, her belly came down on the top of the rubber zodiac wall on the other side, she became airborne again, and with a mid-flight full twist came back down on her bum.

Staff were there to assist stepping off the heaving zodiac onto the narrow steel gangway. Balance was difficult and sometimes scary.